Real success isn’t about pushing through.

I stared at the exam results.

“Fail.” Not once, but twice.

But that wasn’t the real problem.
The real problem? I never asked if this was 𝘮𝘺 goal.

I was 35, sitting at my kitchen table.
Laptop open. CFA textbooks stacked high.
Flashcards scattered. Cold decaf beside me.

Trying to push through the mental fog.

I was working full-time. Pregnant. Exhausted.

I’d already passed Level I with great results.
Determined to keep going. Because that’s
what “ambitious” people do… right?

But this second exam? It felt different.

Close. But not enough.
And it stung my pride.

Here’s the part I rarely share:

I tried again the next year.
This time with a 6-month-old baby.
Breastfeeding. Sleep-deprived. Overwhelmed.

And still... trying.

I don’t even know what I was trying to prove.

So, I failed again, but this time, I was ready to quit.

Not just because I had new priorities (my son).
But because I was studying for something
that didn't inspire me joy or curiosity.

It wasn’t for me.
Not the 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 me.

Today, I’m done.

Done proving.
Done performing.
Done earning gold stars.

Those and other failures didn’t ruin me.
They brought me back.

Back to who I am.
And forward to who I could be.

Because real success isn’t about pushing through.

It’s about waking up.
And choosing again.

It’s never too late to pivot.
Not at 35. Not at 45. Not ever.

P.S. A photo from that time—4 months pregnant on vacation before the exam results came in.